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You smell like a baby prostitute
...it's the notebook, hells yeah.
yeah, im posting twice in a row. yeah. 
16th-Dec-2005 12:05 pm
wallpaper...
in a few days, i will be home! yeahmannnnnn, home for the holidayssss, chestnuts roasting on an open fire (prob not), having myself a merry little christmas, rocking around my christmas treeeeeeeee

i havent been doing too well the last few days. i wish i could put a name to everything im feeling, or have been feeling over the last semester, because i want to be able to. i want to describe it and figure it all out. maybe ill look back and be able to, and everything will become a lot more simple. but right now, i think ive been feeling things there arent names for, or not ones i learned.

this semester has been a mess. and out of that mess has come a lot of frustration, and excitement, and disgust, and loneliness, and striving, and success, and love, and tears. saying that already makes it make more sense. i suppose we like to have story lines- i know i do. really everythings a lot more complicated than that.

but maybe its not. maybe it doesnt have to be. or anyway, im ready to be done will all that confusion. so can we make hot cocoa, and eat tacos at ericas, and listen to christmas music, and watch movies, and go to parties, and cuddle, and play in the snow, and make cookies for people, and not think about anything at all? especially not ourselves? can we? cause im so fucking tired of thinking about myself! ive been thinking about myself for like 5 months now! or something like that! fuck, i dont even know! however long it was, whatever, it was boring. nows a good time to stop doing that.

its christmas!
Comments 
17th-Dec-2005 09:44 am (UTC)
do you get home sunday?

i want to eat hot cocoa and eat tacos at ericas and listen to christmas music and watch movies and go to parties and cuddle and play in the snow and make cookies for people and not think about myself. because i've been doing that too much too.

but the best thing about all of this...when you said "fuck, i don't even know!"

even in my drunken ramblings, i have my subtle impact.

i love you oh so very much
17th-Dec-2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
oh my god, that last paragraph... yes yes yes. for these next few weeks i just want to pretend none of us ever went away to college, and that we can just spoon on my couches forever. i want to talk to you more about all of this later. i can't wait to see you, love.
17th-Dec-2005 11:31 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOSH, GOOD ENTRY GIRRL! YEAHMAN YEAHMAN. we love yeahman. i love you. i love your entries. i am in agreement about the winter. let us not think! i love not thinking sometimes! let us just love! i love loving! (it is one of my facebook interests). loveit! aha. seeyousoooonbebe!
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